Dot-com ads dominated Super Bowl XXXIV intermissions. By our count, there were more than 20 Internet spots, many for startups like Maynard, Mass.-based Computer.com. The companies exchanged, on average, $2.2 million for 30 seconds in front of a worldwide audience -- the priciest elevator pitch ever.

And while all likely enjoyed a bounce in site traffic last night, the true test is whether users will remember their commercials (and their websites) next week. Based on the ads' overall quality, we'll go out on a limb and say that's an unlikely proposition, at best.

What follows is boston.internet.com's review of dot-com Super Bowl ads: the ones that worked, the ones that failed, and why.

Our rating guide: "Touchdowns" were memorable, funny and creative. "Field goals" were informative, less flashy but effective nonetheless. "Punts" were squandered opportunities, ads with potential but that, like the Titans, came up a yard or two shy. "Turnovers" caused viewers to say to each other, "What were these guys thinking?"

TOUCHDOWNS

Computer.com: Maybe it's home cookin', but we like this one. Unlike other advertisers, Computer.com tells viewers what it does from the get-go. It features a cast of amusing characters (allegedly relatives of the company's founders) and closes with an outtake of the founders, showing that they don't take themselves too seriously. That's more than can be said for their Maynard neighbors, Monster.com (see Turnovers).

EDS: While not strictly a dot-com, we couldn't leave this one off the list. The e-business consulting firm wins the MVP for its "cat herding" spot. The ad shows leather-faced cowboys (catboys?) dead-panning about the hardships and rewards of their jobs. "Anybody can herd cattle, but holding together 10,000 half-wild short-hairs is another thing all together," said a Jack Palance lookalike. The ad is filled with great technical touches, like cats stampeding across a river. Talk about original.

E*Trade: The online brokerage bought several spots. The best depicts a high school hoops star being offered a seven-figure contract after sinking a winning basket. The boy's father is ecstatic, but the boy has other deas. "Dad, I don't want to play basketball...I want to dance!" A show tune number commences. As the father looks on in disbelief, an announcer intones, "Always have a backup plan." A second ad used with success the day's theme of deliberate amateurishness: two goofy guys in front of a garage, clapping to a samba tune while a monkey (the only one in rhythm) conducts; the text reads, "Well, we just wasted two million bucks. What are you doing with your money?" Other spots were less impressive ("Money up the Wazoo" was in poor taste), and the half-time show, which it sponsored, was horrendous. But overall, E*Trade had a strong day.

Pets.com: This online pet supply company knows it has a winner with its cheesy sock puppet dog. Another in the day's long line of studiously unprofessional ads (the puppeteer's forearm is often visible), the spot succeeds by virtual of the icon's personality. In his latest adventure, the puppet stars in a music video, belting out a Chicago disco tune while other pets look on. There are plenty of commercials left for this sarcastic, enthusiastic puppet. And his growing presence makes it hard for other players to get into the market.

FIELD GOALS

Oxygen Media: Rebellious female newborns toss their pink bonnets to the floor of a maternity ward, and, as a version of Helen Reddy's feminist anthem "I Am Woman" plays, a raised fist wearing a pink ID bracelet raises from a bassinet. The fist (and the ad) says nothing about what's available at Oxygen Media, but it's a memorable enough image to make curious feminists want to log on and find out.

Webex.com: Nice use of the drag artiste RuPaul, who gooses a soporific business meeting by telling folks they'd bebetter off meeting online through this company's service. ("This meeting is a real drag...You could be at home sipping lattes in lingerie.") It's a peppy 30 seconds with a tag line ("We've got to start meeting like this") that both reinforces the product and sounds like something the spokes(wo)man herself would say.

Epidemic.com: A reasonably funny hook, in which a washroom attendant hands a dollarbill instead of a towel to a hand washing patron, who later gets a buck instead of a tissue when he sneezes in an elevator. The company concept -- luring you to tuck ads into your e-mails, giving you a percentage if your recipient buys from the advertiser -- is abhorrent. But you can't fault its effective advertisement for that.

Autotrader.com: A good job at explaining in 30 visually arresting seconds what the website does: help used car buyers find a deal online. A man stands and gives commands for the car he wants; as his desires, intercut with shots of the site's pull-down menus, get more specific (a red sedan with less than 15,000 miles), different sets of hundreds of cars whoosh up to him, ultimately ending with one. He then asks about loans, and a thousand loan officers at desks whoosh up. Not bad.

Netpliance.com: The company communicates its simple product -- a desktop device that connects to the Web and e-mail, without computing power -- with a simple image: a pair of "geek" glasses, thick, black and taped above the nose, worn by a multicolored melange of firemen, ranchers and, ultimately, a swaddled baby. The hook: the device can turn anyone into a "Webhead." On first viewing, the message may be muddled to those unfamiliar with the product, but it's a solid effort.

Wall Street Journal Interactive: The makers of this spot faced a different (and easier) problem from most dot-coms: how to communicate that a well-known brand has an online product. There's nothing flashy or funny about the spot, which uses the whorls of a fingerprint to indicate that the site can adapt its newsfeed to individual needs. But given the Journal's likely audience, it works fine. After all, this isn't a sock puppet kind of company.

PUNTS

Kforce.com: A job site ad that directly takes on the giant in the field, Monster.com. A Combat Zone barker tries to lure a nervous patron into neon-lit "Job" storefronts ("Hey, buddy, want a job?" and "This job is a monster"), while the voiceover asks if you're "tired of job sites that lead you nowhere." The ad explicates the company's difference well enough -- 2,000 recruiting specialists that help you find work. But the comparison is uninspired, and the ad's most arresting image is unappealing, seeming to say more about Kforce.com itself than its competition.

OnMoney.com: You can't fault this ad for lack of clarity: a paper monster is created out of a harried man's blizzard of bills, vanquished only when sucked into the man's laptop. "Say good bye to financial chaos"; "consolidate and manage all your accounts" at the company website. Fair enough. But the monster image is ridiculous, like a reject from those doltish, video-game-like ads for the U.S. Marine Corps.

MicroStrategy: A two-fer of ads set in futuristic airports. A calm, thin woman on a moving walkway closes a deal on her Palm Pilot while an overweight, overwrought man struggles with his luggage and cell phone, trying to connect to his "idiot stockbroker." Then a 007-like businessman is saved from identity fraud when an intruder is caught by airport security. The text -- describing software for "a new generation of one-to-one e-business," "secure e-business through Web, wireless and voice" -- makes no clear connection to the images; the moving walkway ad seems like an ad for a Palm Pilot. Will anyone care enough to find out what this company does?

TURNOVERS

Agillion: Off-key singers in different settings belt out "We Are theChampions" while the text tells you that this company, "the heart and soul of e-business, sells "a communication tool created for small business." Presumably the folks we're watching are small business owners. But why do three of them (though not all) seem to be in the wine industry? How does this company help them? What does it do? Why is it wasting not just cash on a Super Bowl ad but the rights to an instantly recognizable song? Who cares?

Brittanica.com: This company's ad was as boring as its encyclopedias. The spot has a black background with white questions flashed -- pseudo-deep questions such as "Who gets to keep the coin after the toss?" and "What are people in Houston and Los Angeles thinking now?" Sounds like a second-rate Ask Jeeves. Some 75-year-old exec in London was probably convinced this was cutting-edge; it isn't. It's cutesy and dull. Rue Brittanica.

HotJobs.com: Another uninspired online job site commercial. Samuel L. Jackson is the voice of "the hand" and plays hardball negotiations with stuffy execs offering him a job. He's in a position of power because of the leads generated by HotJobs.com. The irreverent point-and-click hand is a failed attempt to create an icon. It's annoying.

OurBeginning.com: This one should have been nixed on the story boards. The commercial shows women in a bridal shop getting into a food fight while their soon-to-be husbands watch from outside the window. It's pretty tasteless, not at all funny, and worst of all, only hints at what the company does. After watching three times, we think it has something to do with wedding invitations.

Monster.com: Stick with what got you to the big game. Monster.com, the Maynard, Mass.-based online job board, scored big last year with its "When I grow up campaign," which featured kids uttering memorable phrases such as, "When I grow up, I want to be in middle management." This year, the company went serious and opted for a black and white, artsy spot. It shows a woman standing at an urban crossroads while pedantic pedestrians recite lines based on Robert Frost's high school graduation standby, "The Road less Traveled." We get the point, but, folks, lighten up; you're a dot-com resume service.

WebMD: Is there a more recognizable and beloved sports figure than Muhammed Ali? Probably not. Points for WebMD for signing the champ as pitchman. They were right about his appeal but sadly misused him. The spot, of at best questionable taste, shows Ali "sparring" against the camera. He moves pretty well considering his Parkinson's disease, but he's of course only a shadow of his former self. Better to show old fight films and then the present- day Ali on the site learning about the disease. Or how about Ali meeting with fellow Parkinson's sufferers? His ability to inspire would have come through despite the fact that he can no longer speak clearly.

Lifeminders.com: What a blunder. These guys bought the spot in November, only to have their regular ad agency turn down the job, saying it had insufficient time to produce a professional ad. Left to its own devices, the company used amateurish text that, over a bad rendition of "Chopsticks", said things like "This may be the worst thing you see tonight" and "We don't know diddly about making ads." Well, they got that right. Did anyone register that the company sends personalized e-mails? We doubt it.

Prediction: Next year will see neither the Rams nor the Titans in the Super Bowl, nor anywhere near 20 dot-com companies wasting millions on one-hit efforts to win name recognition. Surely this will go down as one of the biggest marketing miscalculations of the decade.